Lately quite a few people have asked me about my wellness journey as they haven’t been following me for a long time on social media, so I wanted to do a little recap. To be honest, it’s also been far too long between posts!
Almost two years ago I hit a real low point with how I felt about myself. For someone that has always been a ‘big girl’ but confident, I lost my spark and ability to care for myself.
I felt awful in my skin and knew I was treating my body like a garbage disposal. I hit rock bottom and I decided overnight to change my life.
First - I let go of all my resentment towards myself for my body, and decided to love it instead. All of the guilt, shame, anger towards my current self - I LET IT GO. This is the hardest part. If you can do this - the rest is easy.
One shitty habit at a time, I made changes. I started small, built my confidence and faced every day with positivity. I ate food that nourished me and sing the way learned to love simple unprocessed food. It turned out, I could live without sugary processed foods - in fact, I thrived. My relationship with food and myself changed considerably and my body followed. I stripped away all of the conditioning, all of the diet culture and just did what MADE SENSE to me. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, lean meats - this is what makes sense for me.
I lost 30kgs in 10 months.
What happened to me and what I did can not be explained by a ‘before and after’ photo. Forget about the body for a moment -my mindset went through a huge transformation. I love myself. I embrace myself. I no longer feel shame for my body or talk about myself in a negative way - and that shit is LIFE CHANGING. It opens up your entire world and the possibilities of where you can take yourself is limitless. My exercise increased as well as my productivity.
I’ve become emotional writing this post. It’s been an emotional and enlightening journey for me and I so badly want to help other women to be where I am today. To be free. We are so tied up in food and restricting or setting non sustainable habits that we forget what it’s for.
What is it for? Is it worth doing right? This is different for everyone, but take time to think about this. For me, it was for my son. Yes, it was absolutely for me too, but in the long term, it was for him.
The things I do now with my son I never did before. I wanted to so badly, to be a part of his active little boy life, but I was on the sidelines. I wasn’t participating, just always watching. I have forever changed the way that he will view me as an adult, and that means so much to me. I’m the Mum going up the mountain with him, swimming with him and being carefree, and girls - that’s way bigger than any change in dress size.
Our focus needs to shift to loving our bodies and ourselves as a whole - and not just loving what it looks like, but what it FEELS like. There’s no doubt, this takes work. It takes constant reminding that you’re WORTH something and that you’re not defined by your outsides. In the beginning I would go as far as having all out arguments with myself in my head. Every time I would call myself fat, or stupid, or ugly, or like an elephant - I would argue and turn it around. You have to get a bit sassy and tell that negative Nancy where to go.
It takes time, but you must focus on yourself. Think about how and what you want to be, and then your actions will support your vision - trust me, this really works. ‘I want to nourish myself and be helathy’ Results in positive actions that support that goal.
I still learn things about myself and my behaviour around food - we will never have it all figured out, but if you start, you will always be a hell of a lot better off than before and your health will thank you for it. If you think about it, you know straight away at least 5 things you could do differently whether it be food habits or otherwise. The trick is not to focus on all 5 at once, just one at a time. Each tick on the list makes you feel so good - the positivity you feel from accomplishment will help you towards the next.
Rememebr Rome wasn’t built in a day - stop the pressure, start small changes and take time for yourself, something we all struggle with.
I hope this has given you something to think about, I believe in all of us - let’s create change in the way we see ourselves, and the way our children will follow suit.